Divorce and its social and psychological consequences
Most of the contradictions that arise between spouses can be resolved without resorting to such radical means as divorce. Often the view that divorce will bring real relief and help to resolve all the difficulties and problems – just naive delusion. Usually, a person has their personal problems in itself and in new ways, they appear with greater force.
This divorce has created new challenges, which are often the couple are not ready. This is the problem of building relations between the former husband and wife, as well as the relationship with the children. In Russia, most of the former spouses disagree enemies. The confrontation between them is preserved for many years, pulling in the painful area close relatives, friends, acquaintances and colleagues. They are jealous of each other, trying their behavior hurt the former spouse, set people against him, eager to assert themselves, etc. There are also situations where the former spouses after divorce in general cease to maintain any relationship, as if striking of his life, which was lived a certain part of life.
And in fact, and in other cases, people disagree with deep psychological trauma in the shower, which is not smoothed sometimes whole life, even though they create a new family or not. The pain in my heart is, and when people were still able to move their relationship after the divorce in friendly or friendly. It is related to the fact that usually the decay relationship away from one another. One of which takes a close and loved one, taking away with him the years of care, attention and warmth, often can not come to terms with their loss over a lifetime. He was tormented by the question: “What in me so bad, if she went to another? How is it better than me? “There is a feeling of guilt and the illusion that if” Then I would say something else, she would have stayed with me .. “or” If then I have done something differently, it would have been beside…”.
Deeply affected children after divorce. Usually, the child perceives the situation of family breakdown so that it was gone from him (or left) one of the parents. In some cases, especially in adolescence, a child (boy or girl) said parent traitor who left the family. In the sphere of the subconscious psyche is formed attitude to himself as such a person who throws that can later manifest itself in insecurity and low self-esteem of the child. Moreover, he begins to perceive the relationship between people as unstable, unreliable, which can always and at any moment collapse. Such experiences of the child do not disappear even when the parents try to maintain friendships and friendly relations.
Thus, the serious consequences of divorce are obvious. Why is it that people get divorced?
At the present time in Russia are the following as reasons for divorce.
Divorced men who by nature are “loners”. They do not like being in the house, “many people” seek peace and solitude. They build each other and the world of a “wall” behind which create their own little world, protected from external influences. Family – a duty, problems, worries … And in solitude so nice and peaceful.
Bred immature people who have been unable to pass on the “ladder” of social maturation. They have almost all his life saved dependence on their parents and internally they perceive themselves not as spouses and parents, as well as the little girls and boys, daughters and sons, and often have elderly parents. In such cases, a contribution to make divorce parents who believe that their son (or daughter) chose as his wife (or husband) is unworthy of man.
Divorced men who can not endure the severity and pain arising from marriage problems. They are not able to constructively resolve problematic situations and seek to escape from the pain anywhere, even in divorce. They suggest that a new marriage will be “no problem” and all in a new relationship will be smooth and easy. They also mistakenly think that after the divorce for them the long-awaited peace and tranquility. Unfortunately, they often need years of his life to these people have destroyed the myth of the possibility of peaceful, conflict-free relations between man and woman.
Not stable family, in which scenario the marital relationship formed by the type of “manipulating subordinate.” Usually the one who is in a position subordinate to, begins to fight for their human dignity, and the manipulator can not be reconstructed in relation to your partner. The collapse of such marriages are not condemned by society; relatives and friends sympathize with his wife, who for many years suffered abuse themselves, especially if it was related to physical aggression.
Quite often there is a so-called “situational divorce” in the period of a crisis of the marital relationship, as we wrote above. Assuming that the cooling due to the departure of love, and that “more will never be no good” people go for divorce. In fact, you need only one thing: patience together to survive the crisis period.
Finally, the family breaks down in cases where the spouses or one of them is formed by the feelings of parents and no responsibility for their children. The Russian families more often weakening parental relationship manifests father.
So, in all these cases the family situation could be improved, or the forces of the spouses themselves, if they had made every effort to preserve the family or with the help of a specialist – psychologist.