Children aged three to five years live in the present; they focused on the fact that \ “here and now \”. They are not interested in vague language adult-type \ “see \” or \ “maybe later, \” because they – of the abstract world of events that do not necessarily come. Because of this doshkolyata often impatient and can not wait. This does not mean that they did not listen when you talked to them about the \ “later \”. This simply means that now they are not even capable of patiently waiting for future events.
Doshkolyatam this age are extremely difficult to exclude, and often confuse the general rules of the type: \ “Do not talk to strangers. \” Penelope Leach, child development specialist, says that the first problem of this rule is what we mean when ordering: \ “Do not talk \”? The second problem – one we mean by \ “stranger \”? Leach says that babies of this age do not learn the meaning of a general rule forbidding them to speak with people whom they do not know, while demand \ “talk politely with the bus driver, say \” thank you \ “the shopkeeper and obey a new babysitter \”. And again, we order them not to talk to strangers, but they see how we do it every day! Leach is convinced that the protection of children a positive attitude, describing \ “that they should always do, not what they usually forbidden. \” That is why instead of the order \ “not to talk \” with strangers you must impress upon them clear rules such as: \ “always appropriate to adult takes care of you before going anywhere with anyone. \”
Because young children are very easy to fool, our efforts in their training should include a rule requiring the children to be constantly in full view of adults. At this stage, the entire burden of responsibility lies on us. In my family the rule was firmly established when their daughter was three years old. We asked her to always tell us about where she is, even going to the toilet. We clearly gave her to understand that always want to know where she was going or where to go. It seemed reasonable to her, because children of this age are extremely interested in where you are. Soon after being declared it \ “travel plan \” has become a natural part of our conversations. Later she suffered this rule to their teachers and nurses.
Another feature of the development of kids is that they find it difficult to understand how an adult they trust, is something to offend them. They make sure that all of their adult carers care for them and wish them only good. \ “Before they just do not realize that people are taken by them and their parents as friends, can behave as enemies, \” – says Leach. Therefore, we are not trying to teach preschoolers boundaries estimates decent behavior of adults. And we do not believe that they are prepared to, in order to prevent an attack or violence. But we can teach them to say \ “no \” easily understandable to them behavior – well, for example, say \ “no \” \ “bad touch \” or people who want to take them somewhere without parental permission. We give them simple rules and limit their choice, because it is available to their understanding and corresponds to the peculiarities of their thinking.
The greatest advantage of toddlers and preschool children in personal safety training is that they love rules. In fact, they rely on the rules. Have you noticed that when you forget or deviate slightly from the rules established for the child, it reminds you of him and forces him to follow? Most children love to play by the rules; especially they like to run their buddies on the games royal commands of type: \ “My mom said … \” I have often noticed how doshkolyata reminded of the rules of adult relatives, carers and teachers. You can be sure that if personal safety along with other rules you have set out clear, simple and calm, without disturbing words, phrases – your children will necessarily follow these rules.
Use your child’s desire for consistency. Preschooler quickly notices when something breaks routine things. You need to strengthen it is his desire. Son preschooler one of my friends often comes home with a report on \ “custom \” the events of the school day. The boy says, who was absent teacher or replaced, or that class of snacking on the playground, but not where you would normally. Father it is often remarked: \ “You’re very savvy \!” It’s easy to imagine that this little boy says to his father immediately if any adult not behave as usual. Good observation ability perfectly help children notice unusual or suspicious behavior, and should be encouraged for that.
The boundaries of obedience
seems that we always set for our children some obedience border, ensuring that they did not leave them, and insisting that the children were always in sight. For good reason: kids and doshkolyata do not realize that it is safe for them and what does not. Therefore, our task – to tell them about it and show. By setting boundaries, we guarantee our child physical health. This is the beginning of personal safety.
It is essential that you have played an active role in setting boundaries for your child. In the future he will be able to set them for himself. But now you must step in and say \ “yes \” or \ “no \”. And do not forget to teach your child a clear, understandable information, for example: it is safe, and that – no.
We say that all parts of the body
in the age of three, children can begin to call their part of the body and can learn which of them intimate. This is an important skill. From preschool age we begin to teach them \ “unconscious \” language that includes words like the names of sex organs. We want them to be able to identify and name all the parts of my body do not hesitate. This means that we have to learn how to pronounce the word \ “penis \”, \ “vagina \” as calmly as they would say the word \ “arm \”, \ “nose \”. We ourselves are passing them to the level of comfort, and the kids are a match for us learning the feelings of embarrassment or self shamelessness.
All kids should be able to identify parts of your body as you build your vocabulary and common development. In addition, there is another reason for the cost of your energy on training kids build a \ “body vocabulary \”: in the case of harassment, your child will be able to determine exactly which parts of his body have been abused. The child should not hesitate to be able to tell parents that \ “there walks a man with a penis hanging out \” or \ “someone tried to touch my vagina \”.
If a child is not taught to the corresponding words or led to believe that certain parts of the body not to be mentioned, he can hide what happened, and parents can not help it.
What is the difference between the \ “good \” and \ “bad \”?
To help the children better understand who is allowed to touch their private parts, you need to teach them the difference between the \ “good \” and \ “bad \” touch and tell them what they should do when they do not want to be touched. Remember, you are building the foundation to be able to say NO doshkolyata unworthy to touch.
T. Berry Brazelton, MD, believes that the three-four-children need to instill that their genitals – an intimate part of their body. Help them realize that if they do not want him to touch adults, they need to tell them that, and even cry out loud on occasion. You should be able to teach the child to say: \ “This is not good. Let me go! \” Or \ “Do not touch here – this is my private parts! \”
\ “Good \” touch
– Hug, when the child wants
– Used for hands
– Gently hug the child’s shoulders
– a gentle kiss on the cheek before going to bed
– Shake or hold on hands of small children
\ “Bad \” touch
– embrace too strong and long
– uninvited kiss
– Tickle the baby after his request \ “stop \!”
– touches adult to intimate places
– When an adult forces the child to touch or kiss it
How to determine the stranger
that’s the best definition of a stranger, you can teach your baby under the age of five years: the stranger – this is the one we do not know. You hear how calm and that sounds disturbingly? Your goal, starting with the preparatory class to the school – to teach a child to notice strangers. Basically training at this stage the distinction between family, relatives, friends and strangers. Later, you teach the child to distinguish friends from friends. Each child needs to learn to do it, but only when he grows up. At this stage the most important thing to convey to your preschooler knowledge of \ “who is who \” in his children’s world, and to teach observation in relation to the people around.
The child needs to know information about themselves
is clear how important it is to teach preschoolers memorize their full name, address and telephone number. Once he learns this information, help him \ “memorize \” it properly. What for? Because cramming will help him to recall information in the case, when he was in trouble. If someone were to ask the child his name, address or phone number, even when he was upset or scared, he still will be able to remember them. Be sure to impress upon your child that they should not be afraid to call your name, age, address and phone number of the police officer, firefighter or the telephone operator on the switch.
By the way, if your child learned his identifying information, but is too shy to say it to someone other than you, it means that he still can not help people who want to help him out of trouble. From this you must conclude that it is highly at risk in the event that will be lost, and so you need to carefully look after him, as well as for children, unable to remember personal information.
Call 911 and 0
I remember, I was told about the parents, learners young child please call nine-eleven instead of nine-one-one. When their house there was a fire, the boy was unable to call for help, because they have been looking for a telephone number 11 on the dial. Ask your preschooler to show you how he is able to dial 911. Then, talk to them about what can be considered a situation where a call to emergency services needs. Of course, there is no guarantee that your preschooler will be able to call for help in case of a real disaster, but you can increase the chances of success, regularly practicing with him.
Note: The emergency number in the Russian Federation – 01
to intervene to protect
in this age, children are very trusting. That’s why you need to actively intervene and protect them in case of need from outsiders. For kids up to five years, the best protection from the adult – to be with child, and actively set boundaries, he might not even identify himself.
Cheerful and affectionate doshkolyata, many of whom are looking for hugs and kisses no matter from whom, at greater risk. For these children, physical contact can be a major means of communication.
Affectionate children need to push to ensure that they are used as words. Teach them that the words better hugs and kisses. Also, teach them that unfamiliar adults, such as waiters, salesmen shops or messengers, too, should use words instead of hugging and kissing them. At this stage, you can set a simple rule: physically cuddle your child may be only a few key people in his life.
First, ask permission
You said your kids that they should ask your permission before you take from someone sweet? This is a common, usually installed by parents, partly because they are trying to limit the amount of candy eaten by children. But in any case, it is usually helpful, because it is – a step to the rules of personal safety.
If you are from an early age and teach your children to ask permission before taking someone from a candy or a gift, they will be less vulnerable to the harasser or rapists, is actively used this trick. Tell your child that without your permission, it can not take treats or gifts from people outside your family circle. Of course, you can optionally make a few exceptions to the rule, for example, family friends.
I am glad that some parents in his letters tell me that now they doshkolyata resorted to them to ask for permission to take a piece of candy from the \ “nice uncle \” or \ “pretty lady \”. This simple rule adequately protects the majority of preschool children, and it should be permanently secured verbal reminders.
There are no secrets from parents
Tell your child: \ “Adults should not ask children to keep something secret \” and \ “Adults are not allowed to tell the child what happened to them or their loved ones will be something bad if he does not agree to keep that -What secret \ “. In some known cases, according to the press harasser with the aim to silence their young victims used threats such as \ “kill their eyes favorite rabbits or kittens \”; then they told the children that will come forth is their turn, if they do not keep a secret. Tell your children that no one dares to threaten them, and add: \ “If any adult tries intimidation to force you to keep a secret, immediately come to me \”.
The main conclusions
can teach preschoolers:
– identify and name all the parts of the body;
– Learn the difference between the \ “good \” and \ “bad \” touch;
– Identify strangers and friendly people;
– Memorize the identifying information – name, address, phone number;
– Call the number 01 in the critical case;
– Allow physical affection only to family members;
– Ask permission before accepting gifts from people who do not belong to your family circle;
– Tell you if someone tries intimidation to force them to keep something secret.